Several conversations over the last few days have made me think about what life should be like, who I want to be, who Alex wants to be, who we want to be together. My mom was making a "bucket" list (I made one a while back, you can see it in my July post from last year). But as I was looking over it just now, and talking to Alex, I was realizing that what I want is not to neccessarily accomplish this certain list of tasks. What I'm going for is a lifestyle, which I can kind of get a picture of from looking at those tasks.
I want my life to be a little bit like a Nikki McLure print, I guess. I want my life to be oriented towards adventure, enjoying the small things, being together with Alex and growing our relationship over the decades, learning from life and other people and growing spiritually, appreciating the passage of the seasons, communing with friends, building community, giving service to others-loving life and sucking the marrow out of it. I've always told people that I am a very visual person. I have to be able to actually see myself doing something or being someone in order to make it happen or to feel that it's right. So when I look at my life list I see myself riding my bike to the farmer's market in Columbia City, having coffee on the porch with Alex, making dinner with a crowd of friends, picking raspberries and sweet peas in the garden, being an excellent and compassionate midwife, going stargazing with Alex and making out on the beach.
Having the life list is helpful because it helps me see what the vision is, and maybe it will help me check in with how I'm doing. Since there will no doubt be hard days in any life (how else would we learn, and deepen connections with our loved ones), knowing that I am generally on the right track will be good. Here is my somewhat updated life list. It's scary to let go of the old one, becuause I worry it means I'm never going to accomplish anything with this everchanging goal. Ain't that life, though?
Near Future:
1) Keep fresh flowers in my house
2) Shop at the farmer's market
3) Grow our own food, and preserve for the winter
4) Remember to send cards and little gifts on people's birthdays
5) Kill my TV for good!
6) Learn to play the cello and/or the fiddle
7) Host a Love Feast
8) Go ice skating every winter, pick berries and fruit every summer, bake cookies and press leaves in the fall, cut our own tree and decorate like crazy for Christmas, dress up and hand out candy at Halloween, go all out for Thanksgiving Dinner with lots of family and friends, make Valentines cards and cookies for friends and family...
9) Try rock climbing
10) Be a trail runner
11) Make a budget and stick to it for a year
12) Hike a National Scenic Trail with Alex
13) Do yoga at least once a week for a year
14) Use my bike for 90% of my transportation
15) Fulfill my wedding vows every day
16) Go on a date once a month
17) Bake our own bread
18) Make out with Alex at a drive in movie
19) Go on a weekend road trip with Alex
20) Maintain close friendships and let my friends know how much I value them
21) Go stargazing with Alex and make out under the stars
22) Camp on a beach in the Fall with friends
Long Term
1) Be a kind, loving and faithful wife
2) Be an excellent, compassionate, skilled midwife
3) Be a foster parent
4) See Alex hold our baby
5) Volunteer at a hospice
6) Have my babies and grow old in one single house
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