Baby Wave!

There's something in the air, people! It must be spring time! The hospital I work at has been absolutely packed to the gills with new moms and babies, and in my personal friend circle there have been 4 babies in the last month! Two boys and two girls, all beautiful as only the newly born can be. The baby wave has called me back into rotation as a postpartum doula/lactation educator. I'm loving it. I had forgotten how much I savor having hours with one family to just talk to them about what's happening for them, what they need/want/hope/fear, and then getting to help them feel more confident and successful in their parenting and breastfeeding. It really is THE best job in the world. It kind of makes me wonder sometimes if I'm doing the right thing to go into nursing when I already love this role. I can see in my interactions with families that I have changed with nursing school, for better and for worse.

The better: I am generally more accurate with what I'm concerned about and what I can see for normal variations (not 'oh my god, call your doctor! just 'oh, that's interesting'). I am better at asking hard questions and directing conversations a little bit to get the information I need. For example, this morning I was on an inpatient psychiatric ward, talking to a man who tried to strangle himself over the weekend. THAT was a difficult conversation, in a different way than it's difficult to sit with a mom and hear her out as she processes her birth and transition to parenthood. But many of the same skills apply, and I'm better at them now, I think.

For worse: friends, it is so, so very easy to lose the wonder of birth when it happens all the time. It is just too easy to see a primip in room 512, instead of Lisa and Bob, who are having their first baby are very excited and nervous and eager to do their best at this first task of parenthood. It's easy to slip up and forget that everything we do in that sacred space really, really matters. It may be remembered and cherished as affirmation of this woman's worth and dignity, or it may be remembered and loathed as affirmation of her worthlessness and weakness. Women should not have to cry out for that kind of care-not only the families who come in with a doula and a birth plan should get it, the Somali mom having her 7th child should get it, and the 14 year old having her first baby should get it too. The mom having a planned cesarean and the mom having an unmedicated birth. Hospital culture, despite having wonderful people with the best of intentions, pushes us to reject birth as a sacred rite of passage and treat it only as a medical procedure. I'm not sure exactly why this happens, but I know it's not something I'm game to be part of. I plan to work at a high-risk hospital that serves many families who truly need a high level of medical intervention in their births. That doesn't mean that they don't also need a high level of love, dignity, respect, and compassion. I don't want anyone's birth to be forgotten in the haze of their medical care. Fortunately, this particular hospital is much better than most at providing "high tech, high touch" care, but it's still a hospital. I know I'm going to have to actually concentrate on being mindful, to stay true to my values and give each family the best care possible.