Purple Scrub Safari

So....I woke up this morning with a clear idea of how my day would go. I had a study group in Madison Valley from 9-12, then a group photo for at my clinical site at 1pm, then miscellaneous finals week tasks to do until dinner time. I rolled out the door and got to Madison Valley just fine. We got all the new study guides for the final done! But then, things took a turn. I had an adventure. Well, a misadventure.

I used the new bike maps feature on Google Maps to plan my route from Madison Valley to Children's. It routed me through Broadmoore, which I thought was a little odd, but probably quiet and peaceful and safe, so away I rode (directly up hill-Madison Valley is not called a "valley" for no reason) towards Braodmoore. For non-Seattlites, Broadmoore is a gated, private neighborhood of mansions inhabited by the bougousie, plunked down in the middle of a major public park, the Arboretum. Only in Seattle, dudes, only in Seattle. I was admitted to Broadmoore once, to attend the board meeting of a non-profit I was involved in. I wasn't involved in that non-profit for long. It turns out Broadmoore does not allow bicyclists to roam it's golden streets, and so I had to continue past the guarded gates and take the main road, Lake Washington Blvd, through the arboretum. It's a nice route, flat and tree lined, except that it's also a major traffic route. Two lines of twisty, winding, narrow pavement, traversed by many an SUV-and me in front, holding up the show. There is no shoulder. But, to be honest I have no qualms about holding up traffic whatsoever. If they want bicyclists not to hold up traffic, maybe they should build some decent bike paths, eh?

Now we get to the misadventure part. Following Google's directions, I took Foster Island Rd out to the waterfront trail. It turned out not to be so much "water front" as "water covered." It was ok, if just slightly muddy for the first quarter mile or so. Then it got a little more muddy, but still passable if I walked my bike. Then suddenly, in a single step, I was knee deep in swamp mud. The kind of swamp mud that sucks your shoes off. Swamp mud also smells like shite, a familiar and comforting smell to a girl who spent many happy hours playing in the swamps of south Georgia, but definitely still a shite smell. Did I mention I was wearing my purple scrubs to pose for a group photo in a hospital? Last I checked, most hospitals do not welcome with open arms students covered to their knees in foul smelling mud, nor does it make for a lovely, professional photo. I was half laughing, and half cussing as I extracted myself-with both shoes, miraculously-from the mud. "Ha!" I thought to myself. "Nice try. I'm made of tougher stuff than that!" I decided to get through the rest of this god-forsaken trail, then pause at the sylvan water's edge and wash the shit off my scrubs and running shoes and hope they dried out a little bit on the rest of the ride to the hospital, which I now had about 20 minutes to make. A brilliant plan, no? I made it through the rest of the mud, and finally returned to the maintained, wood chipped part of the trail. Along the way, I noticed not one, but two pairs of abandoned running shoes on the trail! I was clearly not alone in my woes. Now that I was through the mud it was time to implement my wash-dry-look decent plan. I leaned my bike against the railing, stuck my left foot in the water, shook it around, and was relatively pleased with the mud removal accomplished. Next, I stuck in my right foot. Next, while balancing on my left foot, I fell into the water up to my thighs. Damn. It. It was a long, cold, wet ride home. I really turned heads, let me tell you.

So, here are the bummer things about that bike ride:

1) Google bike maps can kiss my patooty

2) I failed (FAILED!) to deliver the cards I had for students to sign for the nursing staff who have so kindly allowed us to breathe down their necks, step on their heels, and ask really dumb questions all quarter. I will get them to them somehow, but dadgumit!

3) Someone will have to photo shop my head onto Jennifer Anniston's body, and then make it look like Jennifer Anniston is wearing purple scrubs, and then insert that into the group photo.

Here, though, are the great things about that bike ride:

1) If you have to fall on your butt, it's really much nicer to do that in mud and water than going 30 MPH on pavement, which is what I was doing only a few minutes before I fell in the water. I think fate was looking out for me, in a dysfunctional kind of way.

2) I quite enjoy wallowing in mud. I think it's romantic. The most romantic thing I've ever done in my life was picking raspberries in a cold drizzle, ankle deep in muck, at the foot of the Cascades with Alex.

3) That was, sadly, the most adventure I've had since my 5k/Polar Bear Plunge in January! I really need to get out more!